Untitled photo

I realise I love stamps. Whoever invented them was a genius- without them my brain begins to melt after writing “Pfizer” 650 times in an afternoon.

——————————

The marquee sits in the carpark and the asphalt is anything but flat. Its like the funny house at the funfair. The privacy screens roll away, pens roll off the tables and patients think they are having an adverse reaction to the injection when in reality they are just feeling sea-sick. 
————————---

A fearful grown man bellows on the other side of the room, everyone in the queue turns green and quiet.
————————

I’m only here because my wife wont stop nagging me. You do have a choice here - is having this vaccine your choice? No. Ok. But you’d better just do it otherwise she’ll keep going on and on and on… I decide he’s probably not being controlled by his wife and jab him.
 ————————-

We jabbed 350 this afternoon- little by little it gets done.
——————————

A burly ex-SAS soldier today. No trouble finding his muscles- but he looked distinctly green about the gills and started shaking. I shudder to think what he may have encountered that involved needles.

——————

A young man fainted today. I’m not good with needles. What do you do?  I said trying to make conversation. Tattoo artist  he said. But our needles are electric.
____________

I was told I needed a new DBS for the vaccinations clinics. I added my title as Dr, and the DBS was blocked- because “you have changed your name”. I said I have not changed my name- the woman said unless you were born a doctor you changed your name. I said I did a PhD and after that my title changed. She said Oh- how old were you when you changed your name? I said I didn't change my name I just graduated. She said your name is what is in your passport. I said Dr is what is in my passport. She said well its not what you were born with so you must have changed it… The application was then blocked because she deemed my name was changed and I didn’t have deed poll or marriage certificate to say that my name had changed. They could not accept a PhD certificate. Is this supposed to be an equal society? Women’s lib haha.

----------------------

A man turned up today with a big tattoo of a beautiful woman on his arm. Her eye was just where I needed to jab. I couldn’t do it and poked her in the ear instead.
—————
 A mother turned up with an anxious youngster. Just do it quick before he realizes- jab him when he’s not looking. I’ll hold him! ahem no Ma'am that would be illegal.
—————

Woman turned up with her arm wrapped in clingfilm and numbing cream - but in totally the wrong place. I really am not going to inject her elbow. Maybe she meant to go and give blood but ended up getting jabbed instead?
 —————
Woman looked me squarely in the eye and asked me “have I wet myself” I was taken aback then realised the chair was still damp from the Clinell anti bac wipe between patients. Phew!
——————

A man and his father, the man had learning difficulties and a ball to play with. Both his father and then I explained and he seemed calm - But the bewildered wounded deep deep sadness in his eyes when I injected him…. I felt like a monster, hurting an innocent.

——————

A woman today: 38 and a half weeks pregnant. A girl. Their first. Now jabbing the pregnant is routine, four months ago pregnancy was a big red flag no.

——————

I’m asking people in the queue whether they are over 18. It sounds less sinister than asking if they are under 18.

—————

A syringe exploded- split down the side so there was vaccine over me, the patient and the floor- with the needle and  probably very little vaccine actually in her arm. I  was a bit shocked but apparently it happens- a lot.

————————

They tell us its 2 minutes per patient max. A young man tells me about his dreams of postgraduate study- I can’t take the conversation on, it was a distraction while I jabbed him but others are waiting and the queue is long. He is disappointed- wants to talk.

----------

An older lady brings her husband. Dementia. I ask how she is doing and she cries.

——————

Another vaccinator, a young Blonde tells me they all call her babe and ask for her number. I am by turns both relieved and saddened to realise that age puts a stop to all that.

—————

The vaccinator in front looks worried then sheepish. Turns to tell me he’s had a needlestick injury, and that it is post-patient- so its off to the ER with him to be “judged” by the nurses there who will both pity and help him.

—————

I am the only one wearing gloves. The others say yes there have been a handful of times I wished I wore them. I do wear them- the handful of times I've encountered really big bleeders they haven't come with labels saying you might want to wear gloves....

——————

A man asks that I aspirate. It’s an intramuscular injection and the request makes no sense -and as he doesn't seem to have any real knowledge about it I'm guessing Facebook. I refer him up. Someone higher up in the food chain gets to tell him no.

———————

A polish man speaks absolutely no English. His translator does not either. Fortunately our pharmacist speaks polish. She tells him “no vodka”.

——————

A young man asks whether he can take his girlfriend out for the date he has planned.

—————————

A man tells me he works for the company that makes the vaccine. Thinks we should use pre-filled syringes.

—————————

More than 100 people fail to turn up one Friday afternoon. We have doses left over so we phone everyone we know. Think about the poor people in Africa says the pharmacist- and I am reminded of being told to eat up my food as a child and being given the same reason. It didn't really make much sense then either.

Untitled photo
Powered by SmugMug Owner Log In